Steering by Starlight creates Big Magic
Absorbing knowledge from Elizabeth Gilbert & Martha Beck is an incredible experience. Having to share was intimidating (As Liz said “And still. She Persists”).
For reasons I’ll never understand, Liz got sucked to me and Beth (my partner) “like a vortex”. And since I persisted in a room of over 600 people, I'm compelled. Pulled even, to now share this with the rest of the 7 billion people I’m a part of here on Earth. Fuck it!
This was a Celebrate Your Life conference. Liz walked us through an intense letter writing exercise. I apologize in advance. Words on a screen can’t express the true essence of the experience. (So get your booty to the next CYL gathering.) It’s the only way to feeeel the impact.
We paired up with a stranger. Complete stranger. Liz guided us through 6 letters we were going to write to ourselves. From the voices within. 1.) Courage (through fear) 2.) Enchantment 3.) Permission 4.) Persistence 5.) Trust 6.) Divinity. She led us to the voices within us. We realize later what she's pointing out. What we are feeling as individuals always comes with a different tone of voice. But what’s REALLY interesting, is collectively our voices were all the same. We had different stories. Yet our tones were collective for over 600 people. For each of the 6 letters, every single one. “What is that? I. Don’t. Knnnnow.” What I do know is that it’s LOVE in its truest form.
I almost didn’t write what I spoke. There’s a defined spot in my writing where I had this inner dialouge. “I don’t wanna write that down. I don’t wanna say it out loud.” “Rob, there’s over 600 people here. Why would you have to say it? Just write it down.” “You’re right. Ok.” Still, Liz came and sat at our feet (wow… humbled). Without further adieu, my letter to persistence (while Beth & Liz hold me):
Dear Rob,
I am your persistence.
Back the fuck up. We’ve done amazing things together. Incredible things. We have brought ourselves back from pure darkness. Without a support group. Between us and a dog, we faced death and said “Not Yet”. We’ve overcome the long arduous path they call the journey to your soul. We became a warrior together. And instead of praying for death, we looked at ourselves (yep, by the damn water) and stood UP. And said “NO! Let’s give us ONE more chance. To see life in a different light.” We are a survivor.
We’ve overcome being a workaholic. We’ve played in a time you lived in 176 squarefeet. We’ve driven across New Zealand alone in an RV for 2 weeks. We’ve finished college even though we napped through most of it. We’ve moved - 10 fucking times. We’ve lived alone & survived. We’ve hiked mountains and peaks and summits. We’ve launched our site.
Love,
P. (Persistence)
Speaking this into a mic was severely intimidating. (Beth, my partner, would agree). I didn’t completely realize the impact. I lacked the courage to look up at the room when I finished. Yet many of you had the courage to approach me, an emotional stranger. To thank me. Wow. Now THAT was overwhelmingly beautiful. What started was true friendships. Through the sharing of pain.
I may be in a healthier place than the time I thought was the last shot of my life. But now I have a soft heart for others that are lost in their own darkness. If you’re wandering, I know, persist. It IS beautiful on the other side. I promise.
If you feel like you don’t know where your joy went, I know, persist. Stop looking for it. Participate in the wacky goofy things that light you up inside. The same scared crying hysterically intimidated girl who spoke of facing death, is also the same girl who started the conga line. Simply because I told my bestie “I kinda wanna conga.” Whether or not anyone followed. Didn’t matter. Body said CONGA! We would’ve done it if it was the 2 of us. (Fist bump Brooke) Persist. We looked back and saw a conga line that wrapped around the entire conference room! CONGA!
Thank you to all the people who approached me. Thank you for all the love even if we never talked. Thank you to those who wanted to CONGA! Thank you to all that wanted one of my stickers. Wasn’t that FUN? Let’s do it again!
Love,
Waffle
My all time bestie Brooke Smith (far right), my partner in Persistence Beth Duncan (middle), & I'll let you guess which one is me (*cough cough* Waffle)
