What's in your maniac mix?

‘The Universe/God/dess works in mysterious ways’ is an understatement. Getting older I find there’s a joyful element.That’s right, aging gives me joy. I’m more aware of what’s really occurring in my life. My perceptions have shifted.

Age gives me the element of time. Time gives me the ability to ‘connect-the-dots’.

When I was younger, life was extremely confusing for me. ‘Wait. So success is working your ass off. Getting good grades. Graduating college To work your ass off. Forever. Huh? I don’t get it.”

My first reality check was what I thought would be my first real job. I was gonna be a graphic designer for Anheuser-Busch in Oahu.  Awww, hell yeah. Until I found out my would be $9/hr. ‘What?! But I went to college for this! Aren’t I worth more than $9/hr?” Like most proud corporations I was told that they were being generous. They were proud to pay me $1 more than the average starting pay for a graphic designer in Hawaii. ‘Great. I’m glad they took cost of living into consideration.’ I didn’t last long. How could I when I made more as a waitress?

I became attracted to people and jobs where the bare minimum effort is popular. Yet, the confusion remained. ‘Wait. So don’t work your ass off and you get to have more fun. Yet no one can pay their bills. Living anywhere in close proximity to the term “paycheck to paycheck” is draining. It sucks the creativity right out of you. Which is NOT fun. Huh? I still don’t get it.”

The confusion has made me bounce back & forth. From professional jobs I’ve had to work my ass off (Is it still OT when it’s a lifestyle?). To living paycheck to paycheck. Back to working my ass off. Back to living paycheck to paycheck. I can tell you from personal experience… both options suck.

When it’s your first, second, or even fifth job, you may not have enough of that time element. But a resume pages longs can. As a pattern starts to arise amongst the chaos.

First, it started with giving myself permission. Permission to disagree with these 2 theories of success. Permission to reject the idea that these are my only options. Permission to be curious about things that interest me. Permission to give myself the time and space to figure this out. This being the most difficult for me. Moving slow can feel like you’re literally marinating. Which means sitting in a boxed container smothered with saran wrap till an unknown moment in time occurs. They call it when you’re ready. This is also known as torture for the marinated.

That curiosity has led me to today. Where each job I hated carried an ingredient Something I would use to create my very own maniac mix. A blend that’s not sold in stores. Each ingredient was like being thrown out into the wild and learning a new survival skill. Without being aware that’s what has been going on can be frustrating.

Now that I’ve accepted all these crazy skills as a part of a master plan, I’m at peace. Peace because although I haven’t attained my dreams and aspirations, I’m on a path of discovery! Like the greatest adventurers of my imagination. Indiana Jones. Fievel Mousekewitz. Alice in Wonderland. Dorothy in Oz. Captain Picard exploring the edges of the Galaxy.

Frustration has slowly left me the more I give myself permission. Permission to be a yogi, bee keeper, gardener, plant-based cook, writer, painter, payroll processor, graphic designer, musician, singer, dancer, self-entrepreneur, traveler, photographer, pitbull lover.

Yes, no bullshit. That’s my job title. I’m finally proud of that mix. Even if it looks like a reindeer poop cookie and I’m still figuring out how to make a living doing it.

Redefine the word success. Redefine your job title. Redefine what you do. Be who you are. Here’s your permission.

At first I struggled with ideas of what things we can give away for National Give Something Away Day (June 15th). Then it occurred to me, although it’s not the point of this holiday, I believe that humans are notorious for not giving themselves permission. To be who they are. To be free from what they feel obligated to do. So let’s start with giving permission to ourselves.

For those who already have, share how you've ‘connected the dots’ for yourself. And how you view your life now that you have that permission. Let’s help another sister out.

Love,
Waffle
Ps. Share this article with someone you know that can contribute to the conversation. Or someone who’s struggling with accepting their ingredients. We’ve all got our own maniac mix after all.

Thank you @EduLauton for your beautiful photo on @Unsplash